2,711 pages of Talmud. A gem a day.

Three gems from today’s daf:

1. Jews recite the same prayers from the prayer book each time we go to pray. “Rabbi Eliezer says: ‘One whose prayer is fixed, his prayer is not supplication (it’s as if he hasn’t prayed).’ What is fixed? Rabbi Ya’akov bar Idi said Rabbi Oshaya said, ‘anyone who prayer is a burden upon him.'” When we go through the service as quickly as possible, running through the lines without letting them sink in. When we feel burdened by prayer – it’s not true prayer. This invites us to ask ourselves about what can we bring to prayer to make it a true expression of the heart? What might we try to help us feel? To look forward to a conversation instead of trying to just tick off an obligation?
2. In a discussion as to what we should pray if we’re in a dangerous situation and don’t have time for a full prayer we get this gem: Aherim say [that he prays], “The needs of Your nation, Israel, are many and their intelligence is limited. So, may it be your will, Lord our God, to provide each and every one with his necessary sustenance, and to each and every body all that it lacks. Blessed are you Lord, who listens to prayer.” I love this. I don’t necessarily agree with those who say that this is what happens, but it’s a good thing to pray for – that God gives us what we need even if our understanding is limited.
3. Elijah the prophet said to Rav Yehuda brother of Rav Sala Hisda, “Do not get angry and you will not sin.” Anger is a masking emotion, it tells us that something beneath the surface is wrong. Do we truly want to lash out at this person? Or are we angry because we want to be closer to this person? Has our ego been bruised? Do we feel we haven’t been heard? When we lash out in anger against another, we further a divide when a kinder word, the asking of a question, might bring us closer together. My husband and I used to fight and the arguments would escalate. Often, we couldn’t remember what had started the fight the next day. So, we made a rule. If we are starting to argue, we take a time out and write down what we think we are fighting over. Often one of us has misheard, or something was taken in a way the speaker did not intend. Often, when I go to write down what I think we’re fighting about I realize that I have nothing to write down! I am angry over nothing. It’s healthy to remember that your partner (and this is true for friends as well) has chosen you. They are on your team. They love you. So, maybe give them the benefit of explaining what you think you heard, if they meant it be be unkind. In healthy relationships, the answer is often no.

So many gems on one page!

1. A rabbi gets the opportunity for a promotion, but his wife is scared that they won’t let him keep this new position. He says: Let a person use an expensive goblet one day and let it break tomorrow. Meaning, we can’t go through life not taking chances! Enjoy what you can when you can. Fall in love- even though you risk having your heart broken. Wear the expensive dress, even if you risk staining it. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.
2. The story goes: “When Rabbi Eliezer fell very ill, his students surrounded his death bed. “Rebbe,” they pleaded, “please teach us the secret to a fulfilling life, so that we may merit to enter Olam Habba.” Rabbi Eliezer responded, “Be sure to always respect your colleagues; protect your children from rationalizing and place them at the feet of scohlars; and when you pray, know before Whom you stand.” I used this in an invocation for a judge. I said: “Now, we are not in synagogue, but don’t ever doubt for a minute that the courtroom is a holy place. It is here that two incredible values are balanced, justice and mercy. It is here that the problems of the people are brought, here that they are listened to and dealt with. Here where the holy work of mending brokenness is done. This work is hard, it is often heartbreaking, and it is holy. The first thing Moses did after Mt. Sinai was set up courts. So this advice, given 2000 years ago applies here as well. So I will repeat the three pieces of advice from Rabbi Eliezer:  respect your colleagues, they more than anyone, appreciate the difficultly of the task you have before you. Respect them, lean on them, and they will be there for you. Aviod rationalizations and find opportunities to teach. Those who come before you may be very good at rationalizing bad behavior, it’s your job to put us at the feet of scholars – when you can, give lessons, share your wisdom, find paths for people to get he help they need to grow and improve themselves and their situations.And last: know before Whom you stand. Judge, you are now a conduit of justice and a symbol of the law. Remember that with this great power comes great responsibility. Remember that you stand for the highest ideals of our nation and that you come from a people that descends from Abraham, a man who called out God demanding that the Author of Justice do Justice.And know before whom you stand. I pray that you are able to see the people who come before you, see them as complete people, the good and the bad, and be able to see what they really need and how you can help them. I would like to ask for God’s blessing upon you. God, please be with XXXXXX today and everyday as he takes on the mantel of being a judge over your people. Help him to find good colleagues, to help those who come seeking his help, give him wisdom and discernment. Be with him, hold him when it feels like it’s too much. Give him strength to stand up for what is right. And bless his family too. . .
3. Rabbi Yohanan ben Zakkai cries because he is scared of facing God in judgement. He blesses his students that they will fear God at least as much as they fear others. He notes that we worry about others seeing our behaviors, but we forget that God is always watching. Believing in God helps to remind us that our actions matter even when no one is around to see.

A student asked the same question to both Rabbi Yehoshua and then Rabban Gamliel with the same question. (Which reminds me of my kids who ask my husband and if he says no come to me thinking I might contradict him- foolish boys.) Long story short, Rabban Gamliel feels slighted by Rabbi Yehoshua and so does petty things to punish him – like not telling him to sit in lectures so Rabbi Yehoshua stands in deference and apparently other slights. The people see this and say – how long will Rabban Gamliel punish this guy? The new year has passed (when we are supposed to forgive everyone) and he still hasn’t dropped it! Then this master of Torah loses his job because he can’t forgive Rabbi Yehoshua.
The lesson? When we don’t forgive, we think we are punishing the other person, but we only end up hurting ourselves.

Today was the first day that a Talmudic rabbi admitted that he simply didn’t know. Someone asked him why he made one choice when an easier choice was also acceptable and he said – I didn’t know that, thanks for teaching me.
If only we could all be so humble and admit when we don’t know, and learn from others who (in this case) may not have titles as lofty as our own.

Amidst a page about farts and feces there were two ideas I really liked today:
1) We learn what how to be in life by watching the actions of those we admire. So, for those who teach, those in positions of power, and those who influence (which is everyone) please be aware of how your actions influence others. Parents – your kids are watching. Bosses, your employees are watching. Cool kids – your peers are watching. Make good choices.
2) How easy it is to lose focus on important things. How distractions, for any of our five senses, can pull us out of holy moments. Ambiance is important.

The rabbis want to make sure we can properly concentrate when we say our prayers. They take it very seriously. Today, after discussing what to do if you need to sneeze, spit, burp, or fart while praying – they talk about if you can pray while in bed with your wife. . . and the discussion evolves into questions about is considered “nakedness.” What if it’s your wife? another woman? a sexual organ is exposed? or just her leg?
What is considered too much skin? Rav Hisda says her exposed leg. Shmuel – her singing voice. Rav – her hair. Rav Yitzchak – a handbreadth of skin. Rav Sheshet – her little finger.
And this is text that has been used to say that a woman cannot lead prayer. That we have to be covered from head (no hair, remember?) to toe so as not to distract men.
But I am reading this and thinking – that perhaps this could be read differently.
If, on the same page, a woman’s pinky finger could be considered as seductive as a woman who is completely naked – maybe the point is not about the women, but about the objectification of women. Women are objectified over nothing, over her voice, her pinky. It doesn’t matter what a woman wears, if a man is lewd, he is lewd. Cover her up, he will objectify her by looking lasciviously at her pinky. Put her behind a wall (or mechitzah) he will sexualize her voice.
Maybe this text could be turned on it’s head to say that there are people who can can sexualize anything. so, we cannot set rules for the rest of us based on them –
So ladies, wear what makes you happy. Sing if it brings you joy. And pray with abandon.

Amidst a conversation concerning what to do it you really have to go to the bathroom and you’re wearing your prayer garb, which was quite hilarious, there was this gem: “Rava said: Be prepared to hearken to the words of the wise, who, if they commit a transgression, they bring a sacrifice and repent. He interprets the next part of the verse: “It is better than when fools give sacrifices,” that one should not act like the fools who commit a transgression and bring a sacrifice but do not repent.”
The wise person, yes, makes mistakes, but they admit it and they make up for it. The fool goes through the motions but does not learn the lesson – they still can’t see the difference between right and wrong.
I see this with kids all the time – they say they’re sorry but then don’t actually mean it. They do the punishment, but don’t change their ways. And I am picking on kids, but we do this as adults as well. We are so good at justifying our own bad behavior to ourselves and to others. Or, at times, doing something because we know it’s what we’re supposed to do – but we still haven’t internalized that it’s the right thing to do.
It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to mess up. As Big Bird sings: “Everyone makes mistakes, so why can’t you?” But you stay a fool if you don’t stop and learn from them.

Amongst a long conversation about ritual purity, Rabbi Yehuda says: “Although I am lenient with others, and allow them to study it without immersion (to purify themselves), I am stringent with myself.” A true leader and teacher holds him/herself to a higher standard than what they expect from others. For others – be lenient, give the benefit of the doubt. For yourself – expect more.

There is a rule in Judaism that you do not repeat your prayer (e.g. meaning you don’t say the morning prayer twice etc.). Today, the question is asked: what do you do if you’ve already prayed and come upon a congregation in prayer?

The talmud says that you should join them, but bring something new to your prayer.

How often so we say the same words? Go through the same motions? How much more powerful would prayer be if we always tried to bring something new!

In today’s daf, Rav Pappa (which literally means Big Pappa, got to love it) asks a question that I think everyone who questions the bible has asked before: “What was so different about earlier generations that miracles occurred for them, but they don’t occur for us?” It goes on to be defensive, showing that it’s not that previous generations were more righteous, more dedicated to learning . . . and I feel two pulls reading this; 1) that longing for feeling heard by the Divine, of having prayers answered, of wanting to witness miracles and 2) that miracles surround us all the time, and we take them for granted – even those who study the word of God all day long are often blind to the miracles that surround us. Rav Pappa was blind to his privilege. He was born with a silver spoon in this mouth. He was successful in beer brewing, had two wives, was fat from good food . . . he didn’t see the blessings that he had. This made him less generous and less grateful.
Let’s count our blessings. Miracles surround us every day.