While I was in rabbinical school, I was dual enrolled in the Jewish Educator program. In the program we were taught that kids who are actively being brought up both Jewish and another faith were being damaged by their parents. We talked about the “hypothetical” situation of a child who goes to CCD (Catholic Communion classes) once a week and then to Hebrew school another day of the week. “Would you do the B. Mitzvah?” That was our challenge. Our professor, who ran a religious school for a large New York Jewish congregation, said the child woudl never be allowed to be enrolled in her Hebrew school in the first place.
Then, a few months into actually serving as a full-time rabbi at my pulpit, a Bat Mitzvah family came to meet with me to start preparing for the big day. The parents explained how theirs was an interfaith house, and that their daughter attended both CCD classes and Hebrew school. I was dumbfounded. I could not believe our religious school director had allowed this to happen! And here was the student, only a couple moths from her date, having already sent invitation, bought the dress. What was I to do?
Today’s daf would have helped. But luckily, so did my Senior Rabbi at that time.
As you read, remember that an “ashera” is a tree used for idol worship. It is forbidden to derive any benefit from these forbidden trees.
MISHNA: If one took wood from an ashera, it is prohibited to derive benefit from it. In a case where one kindled a fire in an oven with the wood, if it is a new oven and by kindling the fire he hardened the oven and made it stronger for use in the future, then the oven must be shattered. Since forbidden items were used in the process of forming the oven, one may not derive benefit from the use of the forbidden items. But if it is an old oven it may be cooled; it is prohibited to use the oven only while it is still hot, but you can use it after that. If one baked bread with wood from the ashera as the fuel, it is prohibited to derive benefit from the bread. If this bread was intermingled with other bread, it is prohibited to derive benefit from all the bread.
The rabbis seem to be arguing, better safe then sorry. While most of the loaves of bread did not violate the law, we cannot know for sure which did – so dispose of all of it to be safe.
Rabbi Eliezer says: One must take the benefit and cast it into the Dead Sea. In other words, one is not required to destroy all of the loaves. Instead, one should designate money equal in value to the wood that he used from the ashera, and he should destroy this money to offset the benefit he derived from the forbidden wood. The Rabbis said to him: There is no monetary redemption for objects that are forbidden due to idol worship.
Okay! Sounds pretty firm! While Eliezer argues they should just get rid of money worth the equivalent of the forbidden bread instead of being so wasteful – the rabbis argue that you cannot trade money to compensate for using an item of idol worhsip!
This argument is repeated for fabric and then for wine. Hard line right? It doesn’t matter the situation, or how wasteful, you cannot do it!
Until . . .
The Gemara relates: There was a certain man, and it happened that a barrel of wine used for a libation became intermingled with his wine. He came before Rav Ḥisda to ask what he should do. Rav Ḥisda said to him: Take four dinars and cast them into the river, and the rest of the wine will be permitted to you.
Easy to have hard lines until someone is actually sitting before you with the problem. Someone who wants to do the right thing. Someone who wants to be part of the community.
Back to that first Bat Mitzvah girl. I went to my Senior Rabbi to share my predicament. I thought he would also be upset with our religious school director. Instead, he turned to me and said. “If you are not willing to do it, I will.”
He left me to think about what I was trying to achieve with this hard line. And I thought of what would happen if I said no. She would feel rejected, not just by me, but by Judaism. While I am only human, I am also her rabbi and therefor my eyes (to a certain extent) serve as how she feels perceived by the Jewish community. I could leave her feeling rejected, or, I could help her have an amazing memory of being celebrated by the Jewish community. I could give her one of the most memorable days of her life. If she continued to be “Jewish” or if she one day opted to be “Catholic” (or let’s be real, not religious), at least she would not leave with a bad taste in her mouth.
In the ceremony I talked about the day as a day where she celebrates her Jewish heritage. I reminded her that she was not “doe” learning about Judaism, that it takes more than a lifetime. I said I hoped she would always remember that day, and how proud she was of herself, and how proud we all were of her.
And her family cried, both Jewish and Catholic. And they were all (even the Catholic grandparents) so grateful.
Hard lines are important. They help us to live our lives with integrity. But it’s easier to have them when you are not personally dealing with the situation at hand. When you are not affecting the lives of others.
2,711 pages of Talmud. A gem a day. 