Kiddushin 8

Another daf that tells us why we have the traditions we have today! Today’s bckground is on the plain gold band used at traditional weddings as the ring (I used my Bubby’s then gave it back to her).

§ The Gemara relates: There was a certain man who betrothed a woman with silk [beshira’ei] garments. Rabba said: An appraisal of the value of the garments is not necessary, as they are certainly worth more than one peruta. Rav Yosef said: An appraisal of the value of the garments is necessary, and as the man did not determine the value of the silk garments before the betrothal, the betrothal is invalid. The Gemara comments: If he said to her that she should become betrothed to him by any amount, regardless of the value of the silk garments, everyone agrees that the garments do not require appraisal, as they are undoubtedly worth more than one peruta. Conversely, if he said to her that they are worth fifty dinars, and they are not worth fifty dinars, then everyone agrees that the betrothal is not valid, as they are not worth the amount he specified. They disagree when he said that they are worth fifty dinars, and in actuality they are worth fifty dinars. Rabba said: An appraisal of the value of the garments is not necessary before the betrothal, as they are worth fifty dinars. Rav Yosef said: An appraisal of the value of the garments is necessary, because the woman herself is not an expert in appraisal and she does not rely on his assessment. Since she is unsure if the garments are actually worth fifty dinars as he claimed, she does not agree to be betrothed. There are those who say that even in a case where he says to her: Be betrothed to me with these silk garments, whatever they are worth, the amora’imdisagree with regard to the halakha. The reason for the dispute in this case is as follows. Rav Yosef said: An item worth money is like money in every way. Just as money is set, i.e., it has a clearly defined value, so too, an item with an item worth money must be set, i.e., it must have a clearly defined value.

So, we have an argument over if a woman needs to get the item she is being betrothed with appraised. Does it matter? She can be betrothed with anything worth more than a perutah. Certainly the silk is worth more than that. The issue is that, while there is a minimum for betrothal, there is no maximum, and if the man falls even a cent short of what he promised – his proposal is no good (it was a false proposal)! So, here, we see that they need to be sure that what he is promising is real – that she fully knows what she is getting.

Enter the plain gold band.

If any of you have ever bought a gem (diamond or otherwise), you know that prices fluctuate greatly based on size, quality, cut, and more. When you give her a diamond studded band, she might assume it’s worth a certain amount only to find its lab made diamonds and worth less than she thought (for example, I like them because no one died mining for them, but they are less expensive). So, we use a plain gold band, no fancy filagree, no stones – why? It’s the easiest to figure out what it’s worth.

All of this is for what it’s worth. Many brides forgo this tradition. But the lesson remains – don’t be disingenuous on who you are or what you bring into a marriage.