Beitzah 30

today’s daf has a great conversation where one rabbi, Rav Hanan bar Rava, insists that women who are carrying water on a festival should do it in a different way than normal in honor of the festival. Rav Ashi has a great response which leads to a rule that is just fabulous:

He (Rav Ashi) said to him (Rav Hanan bar Rava): It is not possible for them to fill their jugs any other way. How should they act? She who is accustomed to filling a large jug, should she instead fill a small jug? Won’t this mean that she increases her walking, and will thereby perform unnecessary labor on the Festival? If one were to suggest the opposite, that one who fills a small jug should fill a large jug, won’t this mean that she increases her load? Furthermore, if one were to suggest that she should cover the jug with a wooden cover, sometimes it falls and she might come to bring it by hand, in the manner of a burden. Should she tie the cover to the jug, the rope might occasionally break, and she might come to tie it, a prohibited labor. Finally, should she spread a scarf over it, it occasionally falls off and becomes soaked in water, and she might come to transgress the prohibition against squeezing.

And here is the ruling and the gem:

Leave the Jews alone; it is better that they be unwitting sinners and not be intentional sinners.

Yes!

We get this rule again on the page when it says that, while people maybe shouldn’t be playing music, and clapping and dancing might lead to someone grabbing an instrument: Rather, the accepted principle is: Leave the Jews alone; it is better that they be unwitting sinners and not be intentional sinners.

I have discussed this concept before – that it’s better to allow someone to keep doing a prohibited behavior if they 1) do not know they are sinning and 2) if they knew would keep doing the behavior anyway. It’s like when I asked my grandpa how to make tea on Shabbat and he said, “Do you really want to know? Once you know, if you don’t make tea this way you will be intentionally sinning.”

How should women carry water on a festival? Should people be clapping and carrying on when celebrating?

The answer: Leave them alone. They’re not hurting anyone and your critique won’t change anything but how they feel about themselves.

One great piece of advice I received on whether or not to correct another person is: Do you need to say it and do they need to hear it? If both are not true, maybe keep it to yourself.